Longer than six months, but it has worked. "Nonperishable food items" has generally also worked for, like, several different kinds of eatin' stuff.

Come to think of it, the box marked "gifts" was sent at either Global Priority or one class above, if they have one... so it can't even be *that*.

It's gotta be the iPod condom. They're looking at the iPod condom entry and going, "Is it *sexy*?"