Nothing says "you are a valued member of our community..."

[demiurgent]

...like an institutional present that could kill you if you ate it.

Comments

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Heh. Cookies?

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

Chocolates.

[ardaniel]

I'm sure weds will catch that bullet for you if you really *make* her. ;)

But yes, they're tools.

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

This stuff? So not Weds's kind of thing. I wouldn't waste money on the postage. I'd rather go out and buy the chocolates she would actually like and send them.

I think I will, in fact.

[larksilver.livejournal.com]

I'll bet it's too sweet and milk-ish for her taste, based on the previous conversation. From what I gather, she likes the chocolate that's so dark you can still taste it a month later, if you just think about it.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Birthday cake with an ingredient in it that you have a violent and fatal reaction to?

Nuts?

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

I can't have refined sugar in any great quantity.

The institution clearly has a bulk shipment of chocolate-with-card. Have the secretary sign the headmaster's name, hand it over. You are a valued member of our team, number 24601.

[paradisacorbasi.livejournal.com]

Ah. And some tiny cog in a wheel someplace couldn't be arsed to check your file before sending you said gift.

Time to Mosh with my boys, Wall and Head.

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

We actually did that to one of our bosses when I worked for (*Big Company That My Non-Disclosure Agreement Says I Can't Name Directly, But It Rhymes With "Pony."*). I believe one of the ladies in the office bought a blank card, and she wrote, very flowery "You are very important to us," and afterwards used a computer to print his name is a very cold, crisp font, followed by "Prisoner 6."

Okay, so my story-telling needs work. It was funny. I swear!

[aberrantangels]

It should have been in the official Village typeface (I saw it named in GURPS Prisoner, but foolishly let a lack of money stop me buying that book before it went out've print).

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

Albertus.

[gwalla.livejournal.com]

You win for the Prisoner reference anyway.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

Well, that certainly beats the idiot who gave me a Starbucks gift card for last year's Secret Santa exchange. Obviously they hadn't observed that I never actually drink coffee.

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Yeah, our group secretary got everyone a tin of cookies (which I have been eating) and one of instant coffee (which will probably get regifted at some point), which I don't drink.

[larksilver.livejournal.com]

tsk. that's just.. lazy.

I'm a secretary. I did sweets for Christmas. But the Boss got all the dark chocolate stuff, because he likes it, and everybody else got the stuff I've observed them snatchin' outta the candy dish for the past 6 months. (LC got the raspberry linzer cookies and chocolate, NS got the peppermints, etc)

I did screw up one person's gift, but that's cause she works in a completely different area and I only ever talked to her on the phone. How was I supposed to know she lost 150 pounds last year when I've never actually seen her? heh .. well, at least she liked the handpainted gift box.

[mazlynn.livejournal.com]

But at least with a gift card, you don't have to use it to buy coffee. Some starbucks sell some very nice travel mugs, for instance.

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

Eh, it was the principle of the thing. Besides, I made one of my java addict co-workers happy by giving it to him. :)

[tobias-jacke.livejournal.com]

True.

The pointless Les Miz reference is gold, by the way.

[aberrantangels]

Aw! Does that mean you can't have the eCake I baked either?

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Albertus, with the dots removed from the i and j, and the loop of the e opened. I modified my handwriting back in college to resemble it, although not all the changes completely took (I still do g and e both new and old ways, even 15 years later), and I never took the dots off.

[dvandom.livejournal.com]

Due to LJ glitch, this ended up a separate comment. It was meant to be a reply to aberranteyes above.

[the-gneech.livejournal.com]

Note that the cake I offered you in my LJ was made entirely of pixels, and therefore non-toxic to all lifeforms that are not overly photosensitive.

-The Gneech

[ryuko-midori.livejournal.com]

The last time I got institutional chocolate it was "Nice job getting your braces off, number 23456...."

It was delicious chocolate.

[sneakums.livejournal.com]

Gladder than ever we don't do birthdays where I work.