Dispatches from the Hour of the Wolf

The medicine has been with me potently for a couple of days now, and they've got my sleep screwed up. Now we are in the Hour of the Wolf, when it's just you and your soul. And I am tired, but cannot sleep.

I am tired.

I just don't know what I can do about it.

I have the best friends in the world. I have tremendous support. And it is appreciated and it is warming. And it saves me. It does. But I still have to survive the medicine. I still have to survive the feelings. I still have to find a way to keep spirits high.

I still have to live through the hour of the wolf. And the Wolf and I are running out of things to talk about.

My writer's block has effectively ended what was a promising writing career. Someday I'll be able to write again and then I hope some of the folks I've worked with before will want to work with me again. But, I'm not sure when that will be and I'm not sure how much they'd want to. The world is full of writers who used to write, and full of hungry, eager writers on the cusp of being writers, and letting nothing stop them. You can imagine which of the two tends to get work, and rightfully so.

I built a tool using Movable Type that lets me store up my writing and let some folks take a look. It is meant to inspire me to work, and to give people a chance to comment. So far it's inspired me to dust off a lot of old things, and to eek out some very small amounts of writing. It was a hope it would shake things up, and shake things off.

I don't know. I'm just so tired. The few times I've been able to get some writing done it's seemed to take something additionally out of me. Perhaps I've run out of soul with which to dirty pages.

I don't know. In a world where the Old Man in the Mountain can collapse, what hope have I?

The wolf understands, but has no sympathy. He is not the best company, but he is who is here. And I?

I am tired.

iTunes 4 Coolness

My friend bruceb was up, and to cheer me up helped me attach across the continent to his iTunes with mine. The stream is clear and excellent, and the music sharp and beautiful.

I'm seriously, deeply impressed by this thing. It's one thing to stream music across a LAN. It's another to stream from Oregon to New Hampshire with no noticable buffering or system lag.