Need short notice art-fu at 95x95 pixels

Hey kids!

I have many friends, many of whom read this Livejournal. And many of those friends are art types. And, unlike me (and unlike the Shakesdeke you see in the corner, which proves my own lack of art fu), they are capable of artwork that doesn't look like a retarded vole did it.

I have developed a rather immediate need for an icon of a cartoonish look of my own face, about 95 pixels by 95 pixels, for a site I've contributed an article to.

Can someone whip me up something like that? Preferably one that conveys the essence of 'snarky?' One assumes you actually know what I look like, but if not, you can go to http://www.annotations.com/about.html and see a picture of what I looked like a decade ago: it doesn't look at all like me now, but honestly it's close enough for these purposes.

Note: this icon doesn't have to look good. Goofy is acceptable. Sardonic is acceptable. "Bearded Derek Wildstar" is acceptable. And yes, I'm willing to pay.

(I realize I could post this to Websnark and get a pretty decent response. But... well, I don't want to ask for this kind of thing on there. For one, that tips a hand. For another... well, this seems more like a 'people who actually know me from Adam other than doing the snark thing.)

If no one's readily available, I'll do something up quickly. It just will suck. So bear that in mind. You're all that stands between me, and sucking.