Caloriholism
Apr. 25th, 2002 03:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demiurgentFood is my drug of choice. It always has been. I don't mean that facetiously, either. If I feel bad, I consume. If I want to feel good, I consume. I drown sorrows and joys into a fog of carbohydrates and fat, flooding my body with excess and letting the chemicals and hormones the act of sweet eating produces wash my brain and spinal cord clean, leaving only warmth.
Of course, all drugs are bad for you. And so it is with me, and so I need to cope. And I have any number of things I need to cope with. Cardiomyopathy, gout, sleeplessness (except when I shouldn't), aches, pains, Big and Tall shops, mood swings, clothes budgets, physical looks, a gut that could take out a Peugot....
Some of these things contribute to the habit, and the habit contributes to some of these things. It doesn't matter. Any way you look at it, the drug is drowning me in saturated succulence, driving me to death any day now.
And so we deal with it. I have. Cold turkey.
The methadone I'm taking to kill off the heroin of food is called Medifast, and it comes in plenty of lackluster varieties. There are unchocolate, unvanilla, unmocha and unorange shakes. There are soups -- cream of fake tomato, cream of fake chicken, cream of fake broccoli, and any number of flavored waters. I've got what they laughingly call chili on order. And I shoot up tiny bits to keep me going, while trying to ignore the cravings and the shakes. God it's hard....
The idea is to reach Ketosis, which means the stored fat in my body will release keotones into my system, and they'll fuel my body as the bad effects of the habit slowly fade. Right now, my body isn't sure it knows what's expected of it. I would kill twelve good men and true for a Taco Time Crisp Beef Burrito right now. I have no idea what that in particular has my brain locked, but it does.
It's hard. So very hard. I'll keep you posted on the successes and the weeks, though. Check in on Weigh-in Mondays for more.
Of course, all drugs are bad for you. And so it is with me, and so I need to cope. And I have any number of things I need to cope with. Cardiomyopathy, gout, sleeplessness (except when I shouldn't), aches, pains, Big and Tall shops, mood swings, clothes budgets, physical looks, a gut that could take out a Peugot....
Some of these things contribute to the habit, and the habit contributes to some of these things. It doesn't matter. Any way you look at it, the drug is drowning me in saturated succulence, driving me to death any day now.
And so we deal with it. I have. Cold turkey.
The methadone I'm taking to kill off the heroin of food is called Medifast, and it comes in plenty of lackluster varieties. There are unchocolate, unvanilla, unmocha and unorange shakes. There are soups -- cream of fake tomato, cream of fake chicken, cream of fake broccoli, and any number of flavored waters. I've got what they laughingly call chili on order. And I shoot up tiny bits to keep me going, while trying to ignore the cravings and the shakes. God it's hard....
The idea is to reach Ketosis, which means the stored fat in my body will release keotones into my system, and they'll fuel my body as the bad effects of the habit slowly fade. Right now, my body isn't sure it knows what's expected of it. I would kill twelve good men and true for a Taco Time Crisp Beef Burrito right now. I have no idea what that in particular has my brain locked, but it does.
It's hard. So very hard. I'll keep you posted on the successes and the weeks, though. Check in on Weigh-in Mondays for more.
