Talk Like A Pirate

[demiurgent]

Do you see any ships out there? No?

That's because there aren't any.

There's just all of you. And all of us.

There's just you. And there's just me.

I have a gun. And sharp things. And I'm more than willing to kill you. In fact, it's probably a better idea that I do. Kill you, sink your ship. You just never arrive at port.

Things happen at sea.

I have a gun, and sharp things, and men who don't give a damn whether you live or die;.

What's it worth to you to live through the day?

What's it worth to you not to die? To not have your loved ones walk out onto widow's walks and look out at the sea and wait. And wait. And wait. And you never go home again?

You should make me an offer. I'm not a patient man.

Yo ho ho.

Comments

[jfargo.livejournal.com]

Best post of the day for Talk Like a Pirate day. Yar!

Okay...

[theotherbaldwin.livejournal.com]

..are you trying to be funny, cynical, or both?

Re: Okay...

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

Is "neither" an acceptable answer?

[oyving.livejournal.com]

We sail tonight for Singapore,
we're all as mad as hatters here
I've fallen for a tawny Moor,
took off to the land of Nod
Drank with all the Chinamen,
walked the sewers of Paris
I danced along a colored wind,
dangled from a rope of sand
You must say goodbye to me

-- Tom Waits, Singapore

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

Where I come from, we call this "observing the letter while disregarding the spirit". Or possibly just "being a poop". :)

[no-relation.livejournal.com]

AVAST! Let's make him walk the plank, YARR!

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

O...kay....

[cartoonlad.livejournal.com]

I agree completely with the previous caller!

Eric, how dare you, sir -- how dare you attempt to be creative on a day such as this! Have you forgotten the lessons of Talk Like a Pirate Day? Each time you make a livejournal post on Talk Like a Pirate Day without using the words "avast", "hearties", and "arr", the Spanish Armada wins.

For shame, sir. For shame.

[prodigal.livejournal.com]

No, that was my post, which consisted of nothing more than the word "Yarr". What Eric did is called "Taking the concept to new heights."

[redneckgaijin.livejournal.com]

Perhaps Tom Smith should have called it, "Talk Like a Buccaneer Day" instead...

[ravelwoods.livejournal.com]

Just a note, but Tom Smith didn't come up with Talk Like a Pirate Day. John Baur and Mark Summers did. Smith just came up with the theme song.

You almost certainly don't care, but I felt it should be pointed out.

[solaas.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm lovely.

[amhorach.livejournal.com]

Since the modern day pirates are not getting any respect, slip these phrases into your conversation:
Somali: Maxaad samaynaysaa muxuu yahay? ("What are you doing?")
Indonesian: Sudikah anda membiarkan saya sendiri? (Will you please leave me alone?")

[z-gryphon.livejournal.com]

the modern day pirates are not getting any respect

Why should they? They are occasionally defeated by elderly Anglo couples sailing around the world on their retirement. That would never have happened to Captain Teach.

[elmo-iscariot.livejournal.com]

Man, I read on freakin' Readers' Digest in the last half-decade, and that's the story that ends up being referenced on das Snarkjournall. :D

[ertchin.livejournal.com]

You have just managed to make Talk Like a Pirate day barely tolerable. Bless you, sir. And, uh, please don't kill me.

[(Anonymous)]

Not a patient man? S'ok. We help patients, men or women, every day. First a nice shot of *ssst!* thorazine, followed by a full-body delousing,...

Oh, what's that, a cutlass? Oh, how pretty! Here, you don't want that walking off, do you? Here's a claim ticket for it - we'll lock it away for you.

No, the deck is *not* heaving. I told you, it's thorazine. Relax, it makes the ride less bumpy.

[demiurgent.livejournal.com]

Sweet, sweet thorazine....

[kalluna.livejournal.com]

Very, very cool.