In the matter of catching up
Jul. 7th, 2003 11:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demiurgentIf you're wondering where I've been, you're not alone.
The simple fact is, I've been busy. Mind bogglingly, soul searingly, heart wrenchingly busy. 12-13 hour day busy. Busy, is I think what I'm saying. One of the most important people in my office is out on maternity leave (and has the cutest baby I've seen in four years), so I've been covering her job as well as mine, and the person who works the desk has been out (legitimately) relatively often too, putting a lot of his workload on me as well. In addition, I actually have a job of my own to do.
It is exhausting, and it is all pervasive. And it has made me a recluse. When I get away from here (not to write -- I've barely put words to paper in weeks), I just want to wrap myself in my warm blanket of terror and watch the moving pictures on the TV. Sometimes I've become zealously obsessed with some form of minutia, or gotten into a mailing list flamewar.
But for the most part, I'm simply not communicative right now. I don't answer e-mails, I don't pick up my phone when it rings (since it may be work and I'm at the "if I don't hear it, it will go away" stage), I don't return calls. I'm as inward looking and self-obsessed as an Impudite right now.
Even really cool news barely gets a rise out of me. I'm inordinately proud of the ENnie award nomination, but I've not even responded to the people who've congratulated me on it. And if you know me, you know I'm way too vain to pass up an opportunity to be transparently falsely modest.
And, there's this livejournal, which has gotten very superficial recently. Frankly, the above applies, along with a healthy dose of denial and fear. See, on top of all the work I've had to do, I've built a wonderful retaining wall of good cheer and pleasantness. I'm not sure if the stuff inside that wall is positive or negative, but right now I really don't want to open the gates and let it all out. Give me a couple of weeks, give work a chance to settle down, and I can start letting loose all the crap, come what may. Right now, functionality trumps emotional honestly.
I love you all, and know you're there, and know I'm being a total slime by not responding. You deserve better on my part, but I don't know if you'll get it right away.
Peace.
The simple fact is, I've been busy. Mind bogglingly, soul searingly, heart wrenchingly busy. 12-13 hour day busy. Busy, is I think what I'm saying. One of the most important people in my office is out on maternity leave (and has the cutest baby I've seen in four years), so I've been covering her job as well as mine, and the person who works the desk has been out (legitimately) relatively often too, putting a lot of his workload on me as well. In addition, I actually have a job of my own to do.
It is exhausting, and it is all pervasive. And it has made me a recluse. When I get away from here (not to write -- I've barely put words to paper in weeks), I just want to wrap myself in my warm blanket of terror and watch the moving pictures on the TV. Sometimes I've become zealously obsessed with some form of minutia, or gotten into a mailing list flamewar.
But for the most part, I'm simply not communicative right now. I don't answer e-mails, I don't pick up my phone when it rings (since it may be work and I'm at the "if I don't hear it, it will go away" stage), I don't return calls. I'm as inward looking and self-obsessed as an Impudite right now.
Even really cool news barely gets a rise out of me. I'm inordinately proud of the ENnie award nomination, but I've not even responded to the people who've congratulated me on it. And if you know me, you know I'm way too vain to pass up an opportunity to be transparently falsely modest.
And, there's this livejournal, which has gotten very superficial recently. Frankly, the above applies, along with a healthy dose of denial and fear. See, on top of all the work I've had to do, I've built a wonderful retaining wall of good cheer and pleasantness. I'm not sure if the stuff inside that wall is positive or negative, but right now I really don't want to open the gates and let it all out. Give me a couple of weeks, give work a chance to settle down, and I can start letting loose all the crap, come what may. Right now, functionality trumps emotional honestly.
I love you all, and know you're there, and know I'm being a total slime by not responding. You deserve better on my part, but I don't know if you'll get it right away.
Peace.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
::hugs::
Date: 2003-07-07 08:59 am (UTC)I think everyone goes through those spell of not wanting any contact. And thank you for posting this so I'm not worrying too much about you.
Talk with you when you emerge from your cocoon. ::smile:: And love to you, too.
::HUGS::
(no subject)
Date: 2003-07-07 12:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2003-07-09 12:38 pm (UTC)Ah, you're forgiven. Congrats on the ENnie award! It sounds like you're really up-and-coming in general, and I'm very glad your health is better.
Andrea (wickedgoodgrrrl@yahoo.com)
(no subject)
Date: 2003-07-13 03:59 pm (UTC)(you know, whenever i say that, i struggle not to rub my hands together and utter "eeeeexxcellent.") -laugh-
good to finally connect with you. it has been a while.
also good to see you the other day.
sorry about your toilet seat. old news, yes, but news nonetheless.
and don't worry about feeling anti-social. we all need our time.
peace.