Sorry but all the Fundies here make it difficult to acquire booze. The liquor stores all close early, the supermarket beer is 2 point, liquor stores are closed on Sundays, it's difficult to have alcohol shipped in from out of state, and you can't buy anything other than wine coolers and watery beer at the supermarket.
If Jesus were from Oklahoma, he'd be bored and dirty, but probably not very drunk.
If you were taking a serious tone with the story, it would remind me of a song by Woody Guthrie. (Titled, appropriately enough, Jesus Christ) Of course, if you were being less serious, it still reminds me of a song written by Woody Guthrie. (Jesus Christ for President, put to music by Billy Bragg and Wilco on the mermaid Avenue albums)
If you need anything thematically Oklahoma, I guess I'm your guy. (Jim Thorpe? Gotcha covered. Chuck Norris? Yep. Will Rogers? Yep. Hell, longtime DC Editor Archie Goodwin was from Tulsa, or so I heard.)
I have this image of Okie Jesus holding up a coffee mug (World's Greatest Dad?) full of water, flipping some mojo on it, doing the Wine Trick, then saying, "Blood of Me. Amen." before guzzling it.
I can see it now: Jesus worms his way into the family's heart, and moves into the basement. He lives there for a few months, right up until the mother reaches her breaking point after Jesus finshes nearly finishes off the orange juice, but puts the carton back into the fridge. She runs downstairs in her bunny slippers. She sees Jesus, sipping hooch and playing World of Warcraft.
She yells, "Jesus Christ! Why can't you find a job?"
Personally, I like the idea of Indiana Jesus, Saviour with a Bullwhip. You know, after the thing in the Temple with the moneychangers. All he'd need is a fedora...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demiurgent![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 06:43 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 06:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 06:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 06:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:02 pm (UTC)If Jesus were from Oklahoma, he'd be bored and dirty, but probably not very drunk.
:)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-27 12:39 am (UTC)If you need anything thematically Oklahoma, I guess I'm your guy. (Jim Thorpe? Gotcha covered. Chuck Norris? Yep. Will Rogers? Yep. Hell, longtime DC Editor Archie Goodwin was from Tulsa, or so I heard.)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:45 pm (UTC)CU
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:48 pm (UTC)Of course, if he were Kentucky Jesus, he could turn water directly into moonshine.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:58 pm (UTC)CU
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:09 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-27 12:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 07:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 09:59 pm (UTC)She yells, "Jesus Christ! Why can't you find a job?"
ba-dum-bum pish!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 06:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 08:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-26 08:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-04-27 07:18 am (UTC)